Sa Akin Na Po, Sir (It’s Mine Now, Sir!) — Theme Song for Jim’s Accountant

Fredrick Brennan
3 min readJul 16, 2020

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In honor of a brave woman who a reliable source tells me embezzled 7,000,000 Philippine pesos (July 2020 exchange rate: $141,328.48) from 8chan’s owner, Jim Watkins.

[VERSE 1]
Hello po Sir Jim
Opo sir. Of course, of course!
Okay sir I understand po
Yes po I will do all the papers

Well sir step one is the DOLE¹
Then step two, isang lagay,² then we pray
SEC, DTI, BIR, DOJ, SSS, PagIbig!
Our LGU, barangay captain, DFA, PI!¹¹

Are these my only thoughts, you think?
I’m an NPC, here to serve, you think?
Makinig ka³ for a change puti,⁴ my dream was mink
I’ll tell you how I did it from Cabo with my drink

[CHORUS]
Putang ina po kayo, sir! (Fuck you, sir!)
Magsunog ka po sa impiyerno, sir! (Burn in hell, sir!)
Iyan po ang pera mo daw, Sir? (Oh, you think that’s your money, sir?)
Di, sa akin na po lahat ‘yan, Sir! (Nope, it’s mine now, all mine, sir!)
*sound of woman spitting*

[VERSE 2]
Oh, here he goes again
Another racist rant again
Cute, more praise for the conquistadores
Cute, comparing his employees to cubradores

Is he high this time or just drunk?
P U, he smells like a skunk!
How am I going to get out of this funk?
Microsoft Excel, Quicken Pro, fuck this junk!

I want to get a massage in Paris
And afterwards play slots at the Solaris
Show my kids, through a telescope, Polaris
Eat filet mignon on a hotel terrace, mmm

[REPEAT CHORUS]

[VERSE 3]
A pencil here, a ruler there
Ninety pesos off your desk to do my hair
Making more accounts again at the bank
When I get an idea, I can just sign this blank

Yeah, I started small, as do we all
Ten thousand from Fred
Twenty thousand from Tom
Fifty, nah make it sixty thousand from Ron (fuck that babaero!)⁶

I put it back at first
And never borrowed from my kababayan
Never from a Filipino, it’s not racist
They watch their accounts more, is all, psst, protip!

In fact, I gave the employee you hate the most a loan
To buy a new cell phone! (Galing!)⁹ Soon I couldn’t pay it back
You pay us like shit. Remember, Mr. Kano⁸ Jack?
You didn’t notice, thus I grew and grew my stack

[REPEAT CHORUS]

[VERSE 4]
Check please!
Time to go taste the cheese
I’ve now quite the expertise
Learned from my new home in Belize

Seven million pesos, that’s a hundred grand US, score!
Bobong puti¹⁰ please, we all know you’ve got more
Who would know better than me? Maybe your whore (one of them!)
And I don’t mean your wife who won’t fuck you anymore!

[REPEAT CHORUS WITH DIFFERENT LAST LINE:]
Sa akin na po, sa akin na po, sa akinnnnn na po! (It’s mine, mine, minnnne!)
*sound of woman cackling*

¹ pronounced “dough lay” (/doʊˈleɪ/)
² a bribe
³ listen up
⁴ whitey
⁵ a low-level operator of a criminal gambling enterprise
⁶ playboy / adulterer
⁷ countrymen
⁸ sometimes derogatory word for an American
⁹ wow, cool! (about some feature on the phone)
¹⁰ stupid white (man)
¹¹ f**k (a minced oath, short for putang ina mo)

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