“Hello” — from Book of Mormon musical — edited to be about Pastor Steven L. Anderson (Faithful Word Baptist Church of Tempe, Arizona and worldwide)
Hello!
My name is Brother Josiah!
And I would like to share with you
The most amazing book
Hello!
My name is Brother Gordon!
It’s a book about East Ay-zee-uh
Six thousand years ago!
It has so many thrilling parts
You simply won’t believe how much
This book can change your life
Hello!
My name is Brother John
I would like to share with you
This book of Jesus Christ
Hello! My name is Brother Steven
Hello!
Did you know that Jesus wrote the KJV?
You can read all about it now
Hello!
In this thrift store Bible, it’s free!
No, you don’t have to pay
Hello!
Hello! My name is Sister Zsuzsanna
And can I leave this tract with you
For you to just peruse?
I’ll just leave it here
It has a lot of information
You can really use
Hello!
Hi!
My name is-
“REPROBATE!” *door slam*
You have a lovely home
Hello!
It’s an inspiring book
Bonjour! Hello! Ni hao! To ónomá mou eínai Steven Anderson!
Are these your kids?
This book gives you the
Secret to eternal life!
With Jesus Christ!
Winning souls is super fun!
Hello!
Ding dong!
And if you let us in
We’ll show you how
It can be done!
No thanks?
(You sure?)
Oh, well
(Are you a fag or something?)
Fuck off!
(Kill yourself reprobate)
Hey now!
You simply won’t believe how much
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
This book will change your life!
Hello! Would you like to change religions? I have a free book written by Peter Ruckman!
No, no, Brother Malachi! That’s not how we do it! You’re making things up again. Just stick to the approved dialogue. Brothers, show him!
Hello! My name is! Brother Malachi!
And we would like to
Share with you this
Book of Jesus Christ!
Hello! Ding dong! Hey ho! Just take this book, it’s free, for you, for me!
You see?
You simply won’t believe how much
This book will change your life! (Hello)
This book will change your life! (Hello)
So you won’t burn in-
Hell! Hello!
You’re gonna die someday
But if you read this book you’ll see
That there’s another way
Spend eternity with your church family
Just say his prayer!
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
This book will change your life
The King James Bible! (Bayyy bull)
Hello!
